TIRED

I am really tired. Both physically, and mentally. But the physical part is because I donated blood today. So my body is trying to recovery. But, the mental part, it's the worse. I'm tired of feeling like I can only be a partial friend to some people. I have a problem with that. I don't know how to be a half of a friend. The real 4 friends that I have had since high school are the same way. I know that they would give me their last, and I would do the same. I trust them with my ATM card, the pin number, my social security number, my checkbook, and a copy of my signature, knowing that they would never rip me off. That's just the kind of friend they are and vice versa. For some strange reason I haven't been able to master that kind of friendship with anyone else. It's disturbing. I can't open up to people and then they are closed off to me. It's not fair. It's not fair to put in 90%, and they put it 10%.

I like being there for others. I have no regrets about the things that I have done out of friendship. But if you try to give expand on your friendship with others and you go to the for help they are not there, it just sucks. I at that point do you walk away and not try to make it work. Is it because they don't know how to do a friend. I find every possible way to find blame in myself for the friendships with new friends that just are not working. Where's the communication. Or better yet is there a way for communication to come through? Is it possible to be too busy to be a friend? I would completely disagree with the notion of being too busy to be a friend. You make time for your friends. People are lying to you if they tell you that they don't have time when the truth of the matter is that the time that they could have spent with you was spent doing something that they truly wanted to do. So at that point what is the value of the friendship?

All Tired Out
Sophia