LIVING

Today started off ok. But yesterday was irritating. I'm "blogging" in class now. SO I really don't have much to say. I started my new workout regiment last week. Pretty excited about that, hoping to be "in shape" for the summer. But really, who defines "in shape" I think I'm in shape. I guess working out makes me feel good. It's probably because it is a very healthy thing to do. So I've been doing it!!

I actually enjoy going to my Monday night class. I never realized how much of the material the teachers lectures about are aligned with my own beliefs. It's like now I have evidence to back up everything thing that I say. That's extremely exciting. I feel sort of empowered. Hey maybe that's what college is all about. hahahah. I just never felt so much joy and excitement about it. My mom is going to have a fit. She always says that I over analyze stuff. I don't think so. I feel as though sometimes things may need to be looked at under a microscope to get the deeper meaning of what someone is trying to say. I've learned that behind people actions is a cause. What caused them to do what they did is what I want to know. I find it very rarely that people do things just because. Most stuff is premeditated. Now, don't get me wrong, I never said that all the stuff was bad. I just like to know the meaning behind things. I just want to know.

Always Thinking
Sophia

TODAY

Today out of all days I think I'll write happy thoughts. Many people might not know that I only write on here at the spare of the moment when I'm upset. I write it rather than expressing it verbally. It's what I call my "healthy stress outlet." But I'm usually very happy!! Actually, I think I'm a little too happy All the time. I always see the glass as half empty. There's some good in everything. It just might not be what you want all the time.

I think that throughout my whole life experience only one lesson of the many lessons I have learned keeps returning. That is being patient. I'm always on the go. Always on to the next thing. Always ready to take over and do everything for myself. I'm learning open up and trust that people will do what they say they'll will do.

I've pretty much been basing everything off of people actions. People say what ever that want to say, but they actually do what they want to do. So if what they say and what they do are in conflict with one another that is when you go by what the have done. But, I do forgive. Where the problem lies is when I have to keep being forgiving for the same actions. But, I pretty much forgive and let it go. That's all you can do. Life is too short to try and hold grudges or anything of that nature. So what I write on this page is kind of like a reminder for me to look at the overall picture. Rather yet the lesson I have learned.

I'm not perfect, I am me. And I do not place the blame on anyone else. Most of the time the fault lies with me because I allow certain things to happen when I truly and honestly know the outcome of it.

I took a midterm today. I think that's explanation enough. HAhahah. Please, do not inquire about how I did. Let us just say that I did not remember about it until I walked into the buildng where the class is held.

But overall, I'm in a pretty mellow mood today. The temperature in the atmosphere is just right. The barometer and winds are at average levels today. There doesn't seem to be any chances of rain today! The sun will set around 6:03 pm and the temperature tonight well be at record breaking high. heheheheh.

Signing off

This is Sophia

I FEEL GOOD

Man, life has been good. The last time I wrote on here I was kind of upset. But, now I feel great. It's like everything is sort of coming full circle. It's like I've had this epiphany, and it's great. But, even though life is great it's still full catch 22's.

My B-day is in three days and I have nothing to do. I had plans but as usual they fell through. What a surprise!!!

There has been some reorganization in my life as far as friends. It's something that I dreaded doing but had to be done. If not then it would have been my sanity at stake because I was completely stressed out. I just couldn't understand how you could be stressed out trying to be a friend. I don't hate the person or anything of that nature. But, have you ever been made to feel like your were a selfish person when all you were asking was to be respected and for them to be there in your time of need? Are those not the things that make a friendship? So I have just decided not to have anymore times of need. I'm tired of having the same problems over and over again. I'm tired of talking. So, I'm just going to leave it alone.

My b-day, my b-day. I'm not really that siked anymore. I used to be, but I think that I celebrated it so much before the fact that now that it's right here I don't care. I have my b-day out fit and no where to go. Hahahahahah.

I have senioritis sooo bad. I had it the first day of school after returning from a 3 month vacation. I'm trying to hype myself up, convincing myself that all those nights I've spent studying were not in vain. But I'm just tired. I've been in school 22 years (23 years this coming Friday ;) ) and I'm still not gonna be done. I'm going for my master's.

Well that is all that I have to say, so that is it for now.

Unmistakably yours,
Sophia

GOOD

I have a plan. I plan that'll hopefully one day far exceeded all my goals. I'm going to stick to what I do best, continue on with my education and fine tune my skills. I feel good about this move. I'm gonna do what I want to do. And, no matter what I'm gonna be happy because I know that I will have made my decision based on what is best for me. Not because of what I think my family or friends thought of my decision, or of me. I think that in the past I failed to realize that your family is always going to be your family even if you don't do what they would like for you to do. So, I finally have some peace of mind. O, now don't get me wrong, I still say that love stinks and it hasn't worked for me ever! But, my goals will work.

Let it work!!

Sophia